With Week 1 in the books, it is time for our media team to visit some of the GMs around the Towers Universe to gather their thoughts on the performances from the opening week and their views.
From Sao Paulo to Bolton.
PRESS CONFERENCE FLASHBACK
Before we look at the Week 1 quotes, a flashback to 2020 and a video post-game press conference given by a Towers GM, which has gone down in Towers Universe history as the best press conference given by a GM.
The GM was Morgan, brother of Mason (Bay Area Macaques & San Francisco Seals) and he was in charge of the West Coast Mariners at the time in the BFU.
The date was 20th October 2020. Take it away Morgan. Legendary.
TOWERS UNIVERSE - WEEK 1 QUOTES
Beaconsfield Gold Rush (British Lions) - Gary: “Rookies Got Rumbled.”
Bolton Mambas (British Spitfires) - Alan: “I’m so bad at this - I only got involved with IDP because I thought it was something to do with double penetration!!”
Brighton Sharks (BFFL) - Pete: “The Three-Pete is on!”
Bonnyrigg Huskies (BFA) - Paul: “The offense must do better. Our defense got us out of jail.”
Bournemouth Redcaps (British Bulldog) - Chris: “I accept full responsibility for this week’s loss, in atonement I shall be having the team run extra laps whilst I stand in the cold.”
Bromsgrove Llamas (British Knights) - Liam: “St Austell? Is that one of the shithole counties? It doesn't matter. You're going down this week. The Llamas are going to shit all over you.”
Cleethorpes Dolphins (BFA) - Martin: “Benched the wrong players again, defense still in preseason and thanks a f*cking lot Saquon!”
Deptford Rats (British Knights) - Dan: “Beaten by a Llama!!!!!”
Gibraltar Mandalorians (BFU) - Simmo: “Started off with a win, for a change.”
Hartlepool Heathens (BFC) - Tony: “Hello darkness, my old friend.”
Haydock Steelers (BFC) - Jimmy: “Worried.”
Herts Hyenas (British Knights) - Jack: “We win, or we suck.”
Inverkeilor Stags (BFO): - Noah: “A win, is a win.”
Inverness Invaders (British Spitfires): Alan: Pressure is too high. Top of the table Week 1, only way is down.”
Kendal Thunderhawks (British Knights) - Scott: “Stop the count!”
London Jets (BFFL) - Corey: “Fuck this silly game.”
Manchester Hornets (BFFL) - Ryan: “Manchester own the BFFL North.”
Millerstown Wildcats (USFFC) - Dory: “Defense wins championships, or at least Week 1".”
Minster Marauders (British Knights) - Pete: “Christ! What have I let myself in for?”
Monaco Princes (Euro) - Marc: “A solid opening week with the win against a tough division rival, and a top 3 score in the league. High hopes this season for Cooper Kupp and DeVonta Smith are paying off early dividends, but it’s a long season.”
Montreux Jazz (Euro) - Alexandre: “The derby war has ended in Switzerland...it's a greek tragedy, the younger brother has killed his older one ! GG Lausanne !”
Newmarket Nightmares (British Lions) - Luke: “Gobbler!”
Northwich Flashes (British Knights) - Phil: “Absolutely buzzing and yet waiting for it all to fall apart.”
Oxford Scholars (BFU) - Paddi: “Same shit, different year.”
Pikes Peak Pikas (USFFC) - David: “The pika abides.”
Quantock Blue Jays (BFU) - Mike: "Yes, I'm comfortable starting Taysom Hill at QB in Week 2."
San Francisco Seals (USFFL) - Mason: “I am an idiot for drafting Chase Brown. My RB depth is atrocious. Never waiting on RB again.”
Sao Paulo Araras (International) - Gabriel: “I will not overreact over Week 1, but fuck this shit.”
South Carolilna Bobcats (USFFL) - Simmo: “Big score, we beat Dallas. Pinnacle of the season already.”
St. Austell Miners (British Knights) - Richard: “Who knew my Achilles heel would be McCaffrey’s Achilles heel?”
Stevenage Sabres (BFC) - Pat: “Zack Baun lives in my nightmares.”
Stoke Marvels (British Lions) - Ryan: “Two things are infinite: the universe and the amount of games Stoke are winning this season; and I’m not sure about the universe.” —Albert Einstein (Kinda)
Suffolk Eagles (BFC) - Paul: “Who needs draft picks?”
Swadlincote Clayfires (British Knights) - Carl: “Winning start in debut year for the Clayfires!!”
West Coast Wyverns (British Spitfires) - Ryan: “Julian Love was a glimmer of light in an otherwise bleak week and trading round 1 pick for Puka now proving more costly than just a pick.”